How Long?

How long O Lord?
Must I keep knocking at Your door?
How long must I be waiting?
I’ve prayed to You,
but I don’t hear You speak.
I’m waiting still
and I am getting weak.

My child, I know
what you’re going through.
I know your fears
because I created you.
And each step you take
I gave to you.
And I prepared
what you have been going through.
And you want to understand,
you want to know,
but I have engraved
you on the palm of My hand.
You want to feel my nearness,
to hear me speak,
but my power is perfected
in the humble and the weak.

I’ve spoken words just for you.
I gave my Son to deliver you.
And forever you’ll hear
the sound of my voice,
saying I brought you near,
so you can rejoice.

But, for now
I’m calling you to trust,
I’m calling you to believe,
that I am a faithful God
to you.

For now,
I’m calling you to believe
what you cannot see.
But, what you know is true.
I can hear you,
I am near you.

(believe that He rewards those that seek Him.)

as i was reading through this, i started noticing for the first time all that God is doing here. "I know, I created, I prepared, I gave" etc. I never noticed how much this song portrays of His faithfulness. and also how that faithfulness is contrasted with our weakness. "must I keep knocking?, must I be waiting? I don't hear you. I'm waiting still. I'm getting weak. I want to understand, I want to know. I want to feel, I want to hear...

Those requests are very self focused (as my prayers often are in my life - God I want to know, I want to see) instead of being properly God focused. Where does my answer lie? Its not in my finding and hearing and seeing.

And what does God say? First, He's patient. My questions - God, do I have to be going through this?

His answer? I know,... I 'm calling you to remember what (and WHO) it's all about "I brought you near (gospel) so you can rejoice (in My faithfulness, not in your circumstances). Believe what you can't see (Heb 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.)

This verse talks about God as a rewarder. and there's also a command that we MUST believe this. I don't often believe it. What's the answer? Christ died for my sins. What greater reward in life could there be? Why do I doubt the "lesser" rewards? That's the power that He has - He's not a weak, incompetent God that has forgotten about me. He's mighty.

And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets— who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection... (Heb 11:32-35)

"By faith, made strong out of weakness." I pray that God would give me the faith to trust in His strength, repent of my self-sufficiency (realize my weakness) and find His strength, His power, His reward, His faithfulness, His activity, His compassion... How do I do this?

What's the answer? Christ died for my sins.