it is interesting... Jim often mentions this statement as we are studying in church through 1st Peter... "blessing and suffering go hand in hand." or "blessing and sacrifice go hand in hand..."
the past few months for me have been a time of both. definite blessings (new job, increased awareness of the Holy Spirit on a daily basis, growth in prayer on a much more personal basis, etc) but it has also been a few months of sacrifice and testing (changes in friendships, newly discovered food allergies, work stress and waiting, mental overload, etc)
I don't at all think of my current state of life as suffering - actually the opposite... God has been very gracious, very evidently displaying His love, and very kind. But this season, in new and different ways, has been hard. It has its own types of difficulties... leaving work exhausted and worn out instead of ready for a new adventure (hence the scaled back blogging and feeling like there is a lack of available time), major changes in what I'm able to eat, trusting God as friendships change (not for bad reasons)... it goes without saying that this season has been challenging.
But overall, I can't get past one thing... My God is loving. He cares for me. He is kind. This season is not to harm me - its to refine and beautify what He has designed for my life. He is not vindictive or harsh. I'm not wandering helplessly through a dry desert alone. He is with me, leading me, and providing for my needs each step of the way. Though holy and unaccepting of sin, He has graciously provided a solution through the cross. The payment was made in full.
So really, there's nothing new in my life to report on. I'm learning to lean. I'm growing increasingly aware of my limitations and dependence on an unlimited, self-contained and maintained sovereign Creator. I'm grateful for that awareness.
Without it, without that grace being lavishly poured over my life, I think I would be tempted to look at this life as suffering or hardship. But in light of the cross, in light of His mercy, this is no sacrifice.
No sacrifice because I, the one who deserved "no mercy" was given mercy. The one whom He should have named "not my people" found a loving Father through the mystery of adoption. The one who betrayed Him in the past and continues daily in "small" ways, now looks in the face of the Lover of my Soul. What a glimpse!
Israel didn't see that love displayed. They didn't repent. They looked to their idols to find satisfaction that was never to be found. I don't want to repeat their cycle. As I look into the face of my God, I long for the grace to be imparted in my life, so that I will look deeper, not turn away. I want to be one who is known by her gratitude, not by her troubles. I want people to see my God, not me, for He is the only reason I am who I am.
I love Him. I love Him dearly. I love Him passionately. I wish I loved Him more.
My grandparents just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary, and my Grammy tells me that she loves her husband more today than she ever thought possible on their wedding day. I want my love for my Jesus to grow like that. Its exciting to see this as the beginning, not a culmination.
His grace is great. He gives it daily. He gives it personally. He provides carefully.
I just want to stay there. I long for grace to embrace the suffering He brings, fully aware that the blessings of Himself and His presence are far greater.
the past few months for me have been a time of both. definite blessings (new job, increased awareness of the Holy Spirit on a daily basis, growth in prayer on a much more personal basis, etc) but it has also been a few months of sacrifice and testing (changes in friendships, newly discovered food allergies, work stress and waiting, mental overload, etc)
I don't at all think of my current state of life as suffering - actually the opposite... God has been very gracious, very evidently displaying His love, and very kind. But this season, in new and different ways, has been hard. It has its own types of difficulties... leaving work exhausted and worn out instead of ready for a new adventure (hence the scaled back blogging and feeling like there is a lack of available time), major changes in what I'm able to eat, trusting God as friendships change (not for bad reasons)... it goes without saying that this season has been challenging.
But overall, I can't get past one thing... My God is loving. He cares for me. He is kind. This season is not to harm me - its to refine and beautify what He has designed for my life. He is not vindictive or harsh. I'm not wandering helplessly through a dry desert alone. He is with me, leading me, and providing for my needs each step of the way. Though holy and unaccepting of sin, He has graciously provided a solution through the cross. The payment was made in full.
So really, there's nothing new in my life to report on. I'm learning to lean. I'm growing increasingly aware of my limitations and dependence on an unlimited, self-contained and maintained sovereign Creator. I'm grateful for that awareness.
Without it, without that grace being lavishly poured over my life, I think I would be tempted to look at this life as suffering or hardship. But in light of the cross, in light of His mercy, this is no sacrifice.
No sacrifice because I, the one who deserved "no mercy" was given mercy. The one whom He should have named "not my people" found a loving Father through the mystery of adoption. The one who betrayed Him in the past and continues daily in "small" ways, now looks in the face of the Lover of my Soul. What a glimpse!
Israel didn't see that love displayed. They didn't repent. They looked to their idols to find satisfaction that was never to be found. I don't want to repeat their cycle. As I look into the face of my God, I long for the grace to be imparted in my life, so that I will look deeper, not turn away. I want to be one who is known by her gratitude, not by her troubles. I want people to see my God, not me, for He is the only reason I am who I am.
I love Him. I love Him dearly. I love Him passionately. I wish I loved Him more.
My grandparents just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary, and my Grammy tells me that she loves her husband more today than she ever thought possible on their wedding day. I want my love for my Jesus to grow like that. Its exciting to see this as the beginning, not a culmination.
His grace is great. He gives it daily. He gives it personally. He provides carefully.
I just want to stay there. I long for grace to embrace the suffering He brings, fully aware that the blessings of Himself and His presence are far greater.