http://newattitude.org/articles/feeling_sorry_for_myself - great article but its long... see below for highlights ...
“Often those trapped in self-pity can not see their sin or apply the message of the cross to themselves. That is because the foundation of self-pity is pride, and the nature of pride is blindness. It follows that those bound by self-pity will often be blind to both its presence and its underlying cause.” (The Journal of Biblical Counseling, Summer 2007).
The reason I so often fail to see self-pity is active in my life is that I become so focused on myself and my circumstances that I lose sight of God. Instead of seeing all things as under God’s kind and loving sovereignty, all I can see is that I am not getting what I want. God begins to fade from my field of vision. Self looms larger and my self-pity becomes a form of self-worship. My self-worship is rooted in my thinking so highly of myself, it’s rooted in pride.
Gratitude evaporates from the self-pitying heart. Those immersed in self-pity do not have the ability to see God’s grace at work around them. Objectivity is gone and we are tossed on the seas of our subjective senses. We feel that we have been victimized and no one cares, not even God. The only person left to pity us is ourselves… and then our self-focus spirals in on itself, leaving us trapped under the weight of our sin, miserable, bitter and alone.
But we don’t have to stay there. The way out of self-pity is to repent and turn our eyes to Jesus Christ. The way out is to counteract the lie that God does not care with Scripture about his character, his mercy, his nearness and his cross. He reminds us that we can cast all of our cares on him because he loves us (1 Peter 5:5-7), Jesus tells us that the Father cares for the birds and that we are worth more to him than a bird (Luke 12:22-34) and that is how we see God’s grace each day. And above all that he does to sustain us each day, the grace of God comes to us in the fact that through his own sacrifice he has transferred us from a domain of darkness and into the kingdom of the Son who forgives our sins! (Col 1:13-14) When he is our focus, it brings everything else into perspective. Our confidence in the cross where Jesus dealt with our greatest need is enough to give us hope in all situations.
Life deals out serious situations, but the gospel of Jesus Christ grounds us. Even in pain and loss, we can find strength in our salvation. Hab 3:18-19 says: “Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.” In each situation, we face the choice of setting our eyes on ourselves or looking to Christ crucified. Self-pity is the result of self-focus; the remedy is God-focus.