Update on head... and heart...

This was an e-mail I just sent to some of my friends... Thought I'd post it here so I can one day go back and read all these thoughts together in one place.
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Hi friends...
Wanted to send you all an update (so you'll know how to pray, and so I'll learn how to better keep my friends involved in what's going on in my life.)

My head is about the same. The nausea has been constant. The auras have been fewer (about one a day on average). The migraine pain has been constant but I have had a few hours of slight relief (pain level goes down a few points but never truly goes away). These times tend to be only after I have slept for a few hours and they tend to last no more than an hour or so.

But praise God, I had a brief time on Sunday night and Monday night where I was able to function more than I have been able up to this point.. But I've also found that after those times, I find the next day tends to be worse. During the day the pain has been about the same though (ranging from an 8 to a 10). The numbness creates awkwardness when I type. And cold hands. That makes the rest of me cold. But I can bundle up in sweaters (which I have been doing) so that's not that big of a deal.

The chiropractor wants a second MRI - this time of my neck and upper back - to make sure there's nothing there that could be causing the numbness and migraines since the brain MRI came back normal. I should hopefully find out today when I go see him when the MRI is scheduled for. I'm praying its soon. I'm trying not to take the pain medicine simply because I don't want to become dependent on narcotic pain killers. And since they don't fully take the pain away and I'm not technically supposed to work or drive when I'm taking them, I'm avoiding it as much as possible. I'm still taking a few a day to simply manage but not as much as is prescribed.

Please pray because effective next Monday, I will be taking on a new position at work (and I may have to work some this weekend to prepare). This position will be about 30% what I'm currently doing and 70% new things to learn. We have a workshop the first 3 days of next week that I have to be at, so I had no other choice but to postpone the neurologist's appointment to the 27th. Please pray that I will be able to focus during the workshop, since a good portion of it will be in German. Right now, as I think about that, I simply want to cry. But I'm excited about this new job and what it will mean for me here, but its also overwhelming.

I know that God's timing is perfect (I've been hoping for this job for a few months now) and that His grace that has sustained me far beyond my own ability, will continue to sustain as I embark on yet another unknown and scary bend in the road. He's been constant and good.

I am choosing to plant my feet on that Rock of consistency instead of my feelings of overwhelming horror, fear and discouragement. But I am genuinely concerned about being able to comprehend and understand all the new tasks I'll be doing. Since it is brand new position that no one is currently doing, there will be very little training except from the manager (who is busy with a million other things too). So, a lot of the new job will be jumping in with both feet and seeking to learn as much as I can during the workshop.

Another big request is this. I am house sitting for a coworker who is in Germany until the 24th. I've been there since last Thursday. She has a dog and a cat. It appears that I am allergic to the cat. I am taking allergy medicine to help compensate but please pray that I would not have a severe reaction to the sweet darling means of sanctification in my life (have I mentioned that I really hate cats?? Sorry Christa - don't take it personally) =(. So far, its been only sinus pressure, runny nose, itchy eyes and shortness of breath. But that combined with a migraine, is a lot to bear. And I don't know if I can mix the allergy medicine with the pain and nausea medicine. Please pray that the allergies would not bother me (or rather, that they would stop bothering me)

If I could wake up tomorrow pain free, that would be so great! =) That is my prayer but not my hope. My hope is that God is holding me as I'm spinning 100 mph on this roller coaster we call life. My hope is that through this, God will teach me trust in Him (as a loving, faithful, intimate Provider) and not my circumstances.

My prayer is that when the next trial comes - one that truly changes my life, that I could confidently say "you give and take away but my heart will choose to say blessed be your name." My prayer is that I will rejoice in my weakness because it's a time for me to gloriously see God's greatness and power on display. My hope is that though I can't do this and though I know I can't fully trust God wholly, that He is sustaining and keeping me, in spite of my weakness and inability to trust.

So, thanks. Thanks for your friendship. Thanks for your encouragement to this little stone. Thanks for patiently enduring with me. Thanks for loving me. I could go on, but I think you get the point. Lord willing, I'll see you all on Friday.
Em