Closed Doors

My job seems to be a continual pattern of closed doors. I suppose I should rejoice, for this is an answer, but it's difficult when 8x in a year, the answer is no. My boss did a good job explaining why and I do not take it personally (and now have some areas to work on improving) but nonetheless, "no" is difficult to hear so often.

The reason has been different each time, therefore my only conclusion can be that this is God's will for me right now and that in whatever state I am, I must learn to be content (not simply for "doings" sake but because I know that no matter what state I'm in, He is with me).

"For I lead the blind in ways that they do not know, in paths that they have not gone, I guide them. I turn the rough places before them into level ground. These are the things I do; I do not forsake them."

I'm not forsaken. Stuck behind the same door, stuck in the same room, stuck in limbo, I am not forsaken. Still wondering why and when, God is saying "I'm here, I haven't left you alone to figure this out on your own. I'm guiding. I'm leading. And I'm comforting."

That must be and remain my comfort. If it is not, then I start to question and accuse God. Job questioned God and was met by the all-powerful Creator. That all-powerful God is the same one holding back right now. He's the same one closing the doors in front of me. He's the same one not opening other doors I long to walk through.

But, keeping this in perspective, I don't deserve a new job. I don't deserve better pay. I deserve hell. And God opened the greatest door in all of eternity - the door to eternal life, rest and complete fulfillment in Him.

With that in mind, how can I complain. In light of eternity, how can I question. God has been so kind - eternally, immensely kind. He's right now preparing a place for me - a filthy, vile sinner who is justified not by my own merit, but by the righeousness of His Son.

That's why our lives are commanded to be a sacrifice of praise. I don't wan"t to sacrifice that right now. I want to lament. I want to cry.

But He says - NO!!! Grab your soul - arrest your mind and focus it on me. Don't give in to the devil's lie that you deserved this and I'm unkind in withholding it from you. Focus on truth - I loved you so much (and continue to love you) that I gave ALL for you - I sacrificed with JOY for your good. Rest there. Rejoice in that truth.

Let your conduct be the same as mine - offering up sacrifices of praise to God when your circumstances deem the opposite. That's how I receive glory here - through yet another closed door. That's where the world will see your differences and glorify me. Trust me, my child. I know what I'm doing."

Stay

You haven't yet found out whether I want to go back.

I don't.

I want to stay with you -
if you will have me.

I've been looking for people like you all my life.

- Caspian, Prince Caspian

Baby Steps

Ever seen the movie "What about Bob"? Bob is psychotic. He visits a psychiatrist who recommends that Bob practices the "baby steps" technique. It looks like this... just put one foot in front of the other. Baby steps out of the office... baby steps into the hall... baby steps into the elevator and so on.

Our Christian life is a lot like that. Its not a sprint, rather a marathon. Anyone can get out on the road and run for 5 minutes - no training necessary. You can just do it and then collapse afterwards never to run again. But to run for an hour takes training. To run a marathon takes significantly even more training. It takes hard work and dedication and the results aren't seen till months after the process begins.

So, God's been working in my heart for a while on what faithfulness to Him as a result of true gospel-motivated change looks like. It does not look like perfection. A baby learning to walk does not wake up one morning, jump out of its crib and run downstairs asking for a bowl of oatmeal. Its gradual. Its progressive. One day he crawls and flops over crying. The next day he crawls a little further. Months later, he walks, holding on to things. Even later, he's toddling along, falling every 2 steps, crying every time he falls. Sometimes he goes back to crawling, sometimes he gets up and takes a few more steps. Eventually, he's running. Its a process that takes years to perfect and if you're my friend Jessica who runs into trees, it takes a lifetime to perfect! :) *sorry Jess!*

But that's the point. There is a joy we find in the process. There is trust learned in the midst of the struggle and the falls. If we woke up one day "running" we would not appreciate the process as God has designed it.

I tend to be so goal focused, that I miss the process. I see sanctification with the end result of glorification and I, in my laziness, want the glorification now. I want the perfection that isn't meant for now. Right now, is the "baby step" process. Right now, He's calling me to learn to say "thank you for the trials. thank you that You have ordained every day."

The ultimate joy will be when I stand face to face with my Heavenly Father and He says to me "welcome home, my good daughter. Welcome home, my faithful servant, Emily. Enter into the joy of eternal bliss and rest forever in My presence." That should motivate me to endure through the "baby steps" of today seeing them as what they are - the beginning easy steps, not a crippling end to the process.

For today, God hasn't called me to perfection. He hasn't called me to strength. He's called me to weakness (as He's graciously pointed out through constant days of pain, countless moments of trust, discouraging moments of seeing my sin, and glorious moments of hearing those words "it is finished"). He doesn't want my strength to come from me, He wants it to come from Him. He doesn't want my confidence to come from my abilities (that He gives and takes), He wants it to come from Him.

But my loving Heavenly "Daddy" knows my heart. He knows I miss German and Spanish. He knows I want to be learning more and teaching again. But He wants to fill that ache with Himself. He knows I want a husband and family. But He wants me to say "God, I'm so happy with You right now. I may be praying in hope that You will change my situation, but I'm resting here because of You. I'm resting in the wilderness confident that I'm not going to burn up from the heat because you're guarding over me. I'm resting in the waves because I know You won't let me drown."

He doesn't command my perfection, but He does command faithful steps - steps empowered by His Spirit. He commands a constant trust in Him as my Provider. His ultimate goal for me now is not perfection, rather trust in the process of stumbling as I'm learning to walk. He expects that when I fall, I get back up again and take 2 more steps.

And like an earthly father, when I fall, He's there to comfort, wipe the tears, stand me back up again and nudge me on to further steps of trust.

God wants me to live today for results I won't see until months later. He wants me to experience the joy in delayed gratification. He is proving Himself to me to be greater than the (fill in the blank answer of the moment). He wants my eyes fixed on Him.

One foot after another... be faithful in the little things...

He wants baby steps.

Overflowing

My heart is full to the point of overflowing right now. I love our church. I love my friends. Tonight's care group was so encouraging to me on so many levels. Here are a few...


1. My cake turned out and was a big hit. I know this is just a little thing, but I was simply hoping to make something that would bless my friends. I'd been looking forward to making that cake for about 3 months now (vanilla butter cream cake with a thin vanilla frosting between the layers and on the top and sides and then a godiva 60% bittersweet dark chocolate ganache. Can you say "yum"?) :) Hearing Matt who doesn't like cake, say he enjoyed it; watching Willy eat spoonful after spoonful of the leftover ganache until I'm convinced he'll be sick tomorrow... seeing Jessica sad because there were no seconds left... Such a little thing, but for me, it was a reminder of God's delight in bringing us joy. I enjoyed making that cake, and seeing them enjoy eating it brought joy to my heart and made me thank God for that little blessing.

2. We talked about the gospel. Talk about a topic to encourage a weary heart... Christ died for you. He paid the price you could not pay for your sins. Through the work of regeneration, He has changed your nature. You're dead to sin. Baptism is a public display of humbly submitting to Christ in all areas of your life. I'm looking forward to being baptized on May 18th. I hope its warm that day (since the baptisms will be outside!)

3. God gave me a picture for a friend and it seemed to encourage her. I pray it continues to do so. She seems weary and burdened down with the cares of this life. I want her to know confidently the freedom that is found in her weakness. The joy that is found in her utter inability to do anything. I want her to rejoice that the fruit in her life does not come from her ability to make it; rather, it comes through the life flowing through her. I want that to bring the much needed rest for my sweet dear friend.

4. My back is not hurting! I can't even explain what this means. My back and shoulders have hurt for years, but especially in the past few months. Physical relief is such a blessed gift.

5. I feel at home. At home with the Thomas's; at home with my church family. Simply resting. Its a beautiful thing and I'm just beginning to experience that. Honestly, in so many ways, I can't imagine life getting better than it is right now.

6. I have running buddies now - Wendy for hiking adventures. Jennifer for after work motivation. Yippee! Hurray for not having to run by myself (not that I don't like the solitude with me, my ipod, and the road - I do, but its nice to have someone else with me for safety).

7. I love Matt and Julie. They are a blessing from God. I love Matt's excitement about little things like the salty smell from opening a bag of Original Lays chips. I love his humility and sensitivity for others' concerns and needs. I love his passion for Jesus. And I love his wife. Julie brightens the room simply by being there. I love her excitement and humor. I love her down to earth approach on life. I love her discipline as portrayed through raising her children and losing weight. She is an example I long to be like. I want my husband to be blessed with a godly wife like Julie. I want to learn more from that life.

8. Talking to George tonight was great. I have a greater desire to read and study the Psalms more. I want to memorize more and glorify God through my creativity more. I want to grow in songwriting . I want to grow in the gift of encouragement. He encouraged me tonight. I want to do that same honor to others.

9. Ending the night with "Have your full way" was so appropriate. By God's grace, I was able to sing "thank you for my trial, it was designed by your own hand to perfect a good work in me."

Isn't He good?
Isn't He kind?
Hasn't He blessed us?
Time after Time?

There is no answer but "yes."

My God is good.

He's been very good to me.

Wave upon Wave meets Grace upon Grace

Life brings waves. Another day lived brings more waves. That is what I have to look forward to. Every day there will be new trials. Every day there will be new struggles and pain and sorrow. Every day on this earth will be hard in its own, new, unique way.

But that thought doesn't depress me. It doesn't make me want to give up and cry. It simply makes me long for heaven more. A day when I will wake up, look my Savior in the face and be in His presence completely. Not a presence of wrath and judgment - a presence of love and mercy. What a day! What a sight for my weary, worn eyes that will be.

It makes me think of the old song I grew up on: "what a day that will be when my Jesus I shall see. When I look upon His face, the One who saved me by His grace. When He takes me by the hand, leads me through the Promised Land... what a day, glorious day that will be."

But for now, there are trials. For now, there are "light" and "momentary" afflictions. But my confidence isn't in having a "suck it up and endure" attitude. My confidence is that my Savior has not only rescued me from an eternity of damnation; He has given me hope for this life and strength for these weary days too. That hope is found in His ever-present grace. Grace upon grace is flooding over me as the waves upon waves seem to overwhelm me.

As I'm more aware of my weakness... as He takes and takes away, I am beginning to see that what He gives is so much more meaningful. He may take my ability to teach German. He may take my ability to sing. He may weaken (and hopefully one day kill) my pride in my accomplishments, but He is giving GRACE. That is sweet. It is precious and I'm grateful for it. He is taking me and giving Himself. Why would I ask for that to be taken away?

The migraines aren't every day. But they are still almost daily. Overall, the pain is either decreasing due to the new treatment or I'm just learning to manage it better. I think its both. I know I've had more energy in the past week. But I hesitate to ask for healing. I know my tendency. I boast in my accomplishments. I take pride in my strenghts and look to my abilities as the answer. But how I long for the day when my boasting is in Christ alone... when my hope is in Christ alone... when my strength is mediated through Him alone... when my gifts truly bring Him glory alone. I want that.

There is a sweet peace found in His strength that I don't experience on a daily basis. But I have experienced it. And I want more of it. I want more grace. I want more of His power. I want to lean on Him (realizing that means I'm stripped of more of me). I want a faith that is unshakeable, an anchor that is firm through the fiercest drought and storms, a hope that is built on a firm foundation. Its sweet.

Though it hurts, its refreshing. Though it comes through pain, there is comfort. And the comfort makes the pain pale in comparison.

Mike

So, I went to the dr today and apparently migranes are not my problem. I apparently have some kind of infection or parasite in my brain. I've lovingly named him Mike and I want him to die.

I'm on meds now and go back in 6 weeks. I'm hoping and praying this helps. We'll see...

God has been very kind through this. I want that intimate closeness to continue whether the migraines do or not. That would be my prayer. I don't want that sweetness to end with the migraines. And if the migraines don't end, I don't want the sweetness to either. God is good. He is kind and has been patient with my weakness throughout this.

I'm grateful for that. I'm glad for His grace at work. I'm desperately needy for more of it. And thankfully, I have the promise that it will never run dry. That's cool.

An Easy Hell

An Easy Hell (by Thomas Watson, from "The Art of Divine Contentment")

"I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know howto have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need." Philippians 4:11-12

Whatever affliction or trouble a child of God meets with—it is all the hell he shall ever have! Whatever eclipse may be upon his name or estate—it is but a little cloud which will soon be blown over—and then his hell is past!

Death begins a wicked man's hell.
Death ends a godly man's hell.

Think with yourself, "What is my affliction? It is but a temporary hell. Indeed, if all my hell is here on earth—it is but an easy hell. What is the cup of affliction—compared to the cup of damnation!"

Lazarus could not get a crumb; he was so diseased that the dogs took pity on him; and as if they had been his physicians, licked his sores. But this was an easy hell—the angels quickly fetched him out of it! If all our hell is in this life—and in the midst of this hell, we have the love of God—then it is no more hell, but paradise! If all our hell is here on earth, we may see to the end of it; it is but skin-deep, it cannot touch the soul. It is a short-lived hell. After a dreary night of affliction, comes the bright morning of glory!

Since our lives are short—our trials cannot be long! As our riches take wings and fly away—so do our sufferings! Let us learn then, to be content, whatever our circumstances.

---------------------------------------------------
this article was very helpful to me this morning when I read it. the last few weeks in my life really have been hell - whether its being pushed beyond my limits physically or out of my comfort zone by placing me in someone else's house with someone else's responsiblitiy or the unrest and uncertainty at work right now that seems never ending...

this has really been by far the hardest time of my Christian life so far. its been extreme and severe and roller-coastery and so on. and when it seems to be calming down, it picks right back up again. minute by minute, it has been a choice to either give in to my emotions and fears or to choose to resist that temptation from Satan and instead place my hope in Christ.

i'm fighting to place my hope in God. the command to place our hope in God tells me that it doesn't go there by default. I have to work to put my full reliance on my Savior as the answer to my problems and discouragement. that's a struggle. its a war and i can tell physical effects on my body and mind. but I am grateful for the reminder that this will have an end. this is hard. but there is a hope that this life is the worst I'll experience because I'm in union with Christ.

that union means I'm secure now amidst the unrest (even when I don't feel it) and that I have hope for the future (even when I don't see it). I won't "fall off the roller coaster" because I'm securely strapped in the arms of my powerful Physician Jesus who lovingly protects me from all harm. I won't "drown in the waves" because I'm held by a loving Father who won't let me sink under the overwhelming, powerful waves that keep assaulting my every breath. I won't fail in this trial because my confidence lies in the fact that I have a Guarantor of my faith.

My Jesus and the Holy Spirit will continue to sustain me throughout these (and future) trials and I have the promise that He will complete what He's started in me and that He will sustain me through the end. I'm weak. I'm dependent. But He's powerful and strong. So, even through this temporary "hell" I have the hope and confidence that I can choose to rejoice in the God of my salvation as the Rock that supports me through all trials.

Update on head... and heart...

This was an e-mail I just sent to some of my friends... Thought I'd post it here so I can one day go back and read all these thoughts together in one place.
----------------------------------------
Hi friends...
Wanted to send you all an update (so you'll know how to pray, and so I'll learn how to better keep my friends involved in what's going on in my life.)

My head is about the same. The nausea has been constant. The auras have been fewer (about one a day on average). The migraine pain has been constant but I have had a few hours of slight relief (pain level goes down a few points but never truly goes away). These times tend to be only after I have slept for a few hours and they tend to last no more than an hour or so.

But praise God, I had a brief time on Sunday night and Monday night where I was able to function more than I have been able up to this point.. But I've also found that after those times, I find the next day tends to be worse. During the day the pain has been about the same though (ranging from an 8 to a 10). The numbness creates awkwardness when I type. And cold hands. That makes the rest of me cold. But I can bundle up in sweaters (which I have been doing) so that's not that big of a deal.

The chiropractor wants a second MRI - this time of my neck and upper back - to make sure there's nothing there that could be causing the numbness and migraines since the brain MRI came back normal. I should hopefully find out today when I go see him when the MRI is scheduled for. I'm praying its soon. I'm trying not to take the pain medicine simply because I don't want to become dependent on narcotic pain killers. And since they don't fully take the pain away and I'm not technically supposed to work or drive when I'm taking them, I'm avoiding it as much as possible. I'm still taking a few a day to simply manage but not as much as is prescribed.

Please pray because effective next Monday, I will be taking on a new position at work (and I may have to work some this weekend to prepare). This position will be about 30% what I'm currently doing and 70% new things to learn. We have a workshop the first 3 days of next week that I have to be at, so I had no other choice but to postpone the neurologist's appointment to the 27th. Please pray that I will be able to focus during the workshop, since a good portion of it will be in German. Right now, as I think about that, I simply want to cry. But I'm excited about this new job and what it will mean for me here, but its also overwhelming.

I know that God's timing is perfect (I've been hoping for this job for a few months now) and that His grace that has sustained me far beyond my own ability, will continue to sustain as I embark on yet another unknown and scary bend in the road. He's been constant and good.

I am choosing to plant my feet on that Rock of consistency instead of my feelings of overwhelming horror, fear and discouragement. But I am genuinely concerned about being able to comprehend and understand all the new tasks I'll be doing. Since it is brand new position that no one is currently doing, there will be very little training except from the manager (who is busy with a million other things too). So, a lot of the new job will be jumping in with both feet and seeking to learn as much as I can during the workshop.

Another big request is this. I am house sitting for a coworker who is in Germany until the 24th. I've been there since last Thursday. She has a dog and a cat. It appears that I am allergic to the cat. I am taking allergy medicine to help compensate but please pray that I would not have a severe reaction to the sweet darling means of sanctification in my life (have I mentioned that I really hate cats?? Sorry Christa - don't take it personally) =(. So far, its been only sinus pressure, runny nose, itchy eyes and shortness of breath. But that combined with a migraine, is a lot to bear. And I don't know if I can mix the allergy medicine with the pain and nausea medicine. Please pray that the allergies would not bother me (or rather, that they would stop bothering me)

If I could wake up tomorrow pain free, that would be so great! =) That is my prayer but not my hope. My hope is that God is holding me as I'm spinning 100 mph on this roller coaster we call life. My hope is that through this, God will teach me trust in Him (as a loving, faithful, intimate Provider) and not my circumstances.

My prayer is that when the next trial comes - one that truly changes my life, that I could confidently say "you give and take away but my heart will choose to say blessed be your name." My prayer is that I will rejoice in my weakness because it's a time for me to gloriously see God's greatness and power on display. My hope is that though I can't do this and though I know I can't fully trust God wholly, that He is sustaining and keeping me, in spite of my weakness and inability to trust.

So, thanks. Thanks for your friendship. Thanks for your encouragement to this little stone. Thanks for patiently enduring with me. Thanks for loving me. I could go on, but I think you get the point. Lord willing, I'll see you all on Friday.
Em

Concert Highlights

I just wanted to post a few highlights from the concert we went to last night (Bethany Dillon, Shane & Shane, and Starfield). Aside from the fact that the music was simply awesome and we were on the first row... here's what were the group highlights to me...

• Travis so generously offering us 7 free tickets so that those of us who couldn't afford to go were able to attend!!!


• JB's leadership in planning in detail every part of the trip. Nothing was overlooked! Great job man! You're a hero!


• Christa worshiping with a smile on her face singing "Embracing Accusations" by Shane and Shane.


• the Holy Sprit obviously working in Jess R's heart. I pray she left encouraged.


• Justin's first concert - seeing him worshipping God without fear, enjoying himself and leaving the concert with a music library that just took a big step out of his comfort zone.


• realizing that our band isn't really that awesome after all and making Sarah squeal with the thought of it (though I still would have to say we're a close second!) =)


• hearing a presentation on feeding orphans focusing on their spiritual need of the gospel and using a hungry belly as a means to share the light with them.


• Great times of friendship-building and earnest fellowship in the car ride there and back (how many crazy voices can one guy do, seriously!?)


• Josh R's generosity to buy dinner for Jess and Matt (the 2 drivers) and JB's ridiculous generosity in the amount he secretly paid for gas.

As much as the bands joked about the transitions, I thought they did a great job. Considering broken guitar strings and all... Looking at it from a sound and worship team standpoint, it was very well done (few typos in the slide shows, but only an anal freak like me would notice stuff like that). Overall, though here's what the concert meant on a personal level...

• literally feeling my heart pump faster as the bass rocked


• Singing "unashamed" and realizing the change that God has worked in my heart since the first time I heard it at Na07. I still can't sing that song without thinking of Bob Kauflin's "what part of your sin?" Realinzing that living unashamed means "live in the good of all that I paid for."


• realizing I can embrace the accusations of Satan (Gal 3:10) because I'm aware the answer is in the next verse - the answer isn't that I can't do it but the answer is this: "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us" (Gal 3:13)


• being once again reminded that there is an answer to hunger. there is an answer to always being discontent and longing for more (John 6:35 Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.")

Great concert! Great focus on the Gospel! Go buy the CD's! (starfield and shane and shane cds are both a "double-take" on i-Tunes - 2 cd's for the price of one!) What an amazing, patient, kind and awesome God we serve. What hope that brings! How grateful I am for these glimpses.

Only One Thing

Shut out the world with all its distractions
All of its noise and empty attractions
And shut me in, Lord
To the presence of Your glory

Shut out my cares and all of my worries
All of my fears and all of my hurries
And shut me in, Lord
To the presence of Your glory

Only one thing is necessary
Only one thing is necessary
To sit at Your feet
To sit at Your feet
And gaze upon Your beauty

Shut out the lie that I can’t come near You
You bought me with blood and taught me to fear You
So shut me in, Lord
To the presence of Your glory

For here in Your presence my soul is satisfied
Here in Your presence my soul finds all delight
Here in Your presence my soul is thirsting for You
Yes, I’m thirsting for You

Only one thing is necessary
Only one thing is necessary
To sit at Your feet
To sit at Your feet
And gaze upon Your beauty

by Mark Altrogge

Listen: http://new.sovereigngrace.com/radio/littlewhile/wimpy.asp

Download songs and lyrics: http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/search.aspx?keyword=in+a+little+while&page=1

Consider the Excellency of it

Contentment is a flower that doth not grow in every garden; it teacheth a man how in the midst of want to abound. You would think it were excellent if I could prescribe a receipt or antidote against poverty: but behold here is that which is more excellent, for a man to want, and yet have enough, this alone contentment of spirit doth bring.

Contentation is a remedy against all our trouble, an alleviation to all our burdens, it is the cure of care. Contentation, though it be not properly a grace (it is rather a disposition of mind,) yet in it there is a happy temperature and mixture of all the graces: it is a most precious compound, which is made up of faith, patience, meekness, humility, &c. which are the ingredients put into it.

Now there are in species these seven rare excellencies in contentment.
1. A contented Christian carries heaven about him: for, what is heaven, but that sweet repose and full contentment that the soul shall have in God? When we meet with motion and change in the creatures round about us, a contented spirit is not stirred nor moved out of its centre. The sails of a mill move with the wind, but the mill itself stands still, an emblem of contentment; when our outward estate moves with the wind of providence, yet the heart is settled through holy contentment; and when others are like quicksilver, shaking and trembling through disquiet, the contented spirit can say, as David, "O God my heart is fixed:"Ps. 57. 7

2. Whatever is defective in the creature is made up in contentment. A Christian may want the comforts that others have, the land, and possessions; but God hath instilled into his heart that contentment which is far better: in this sense that is true of our Saviour, "he shall receive a hundred fold."Mat. 19. 29 When we meet with motion and change in the creatures round about us, a contented spirit is not stirred nor moved out of its centre. The sails of a mill move with the wind, but the mill itself stands still, an emblem of contentment; when our outward estate moves with the wind of providence, yet the heart is settled through holy contentment; and when others are like quicksilver, shaking and trembling through disquiet, the contented spirit can say, as David, "O God my heart is fixed:"Ps. 57. 7

3. Contentment makes a man in tune to serve God; it oils the wheels of the soul and makes it more agile and nimble; it composeth the heart, and makes it fit for prayer, meditation, &c. Discontent takes the heart wholly of from God, and fixeth it upon the present trouble, so that a man's mind is not upon his prayer, but upon his cross. Discontent doth disjoint the soul; and it is impossible now that a Christian should go so steadily and cheerfully in God's service. O how lame is his devotion! The discontented person gives God but a half-duty, and his religion is nothing but bodily exercise, it wants a soul to animate it. He that gives God only the skin of worship, what can he expect more than the shell of comfort?

4. Contentment is the spiritual arch, or pillar of the soul; it fits a man to bear burdens. The contented heart is never out of heart. Contentation is a golden shield, that doth beat back discouragements. Humility is like the lead to the net which keeps the soul down when it is rising through passion; and contentment is like the cork which keeps the heart up when it is sinking through discouragements. Discontent swells the grief, and grief breaks the heart. When this sacred sinew of contentment begins to shrink, we go limping under our afflictions; we know not what burdens God may exercise us with; let us therefore preserve contentment; as is our contentment, such will be our courage.

5. Contentment prevents many sins and temptations.
Discontent and impatience are twins: "this evil is of the Lord, why should I wait on the Lord any longer?"2 Ki. 6. 33 as if God were so tied, that he must give us the mercy just when we desire it. Impatience is no small sin; as will appear if you consider whence it ariseth. It is for want of faith. If it were possible for God in the least manner to err, which were blasphemy to think, love would cover that error; love takes everything in the best sense, it makes us bear any stroke "it endureth all things."1 Cor. 13. 7 Had we love to God, we should have patience. Our murmuring is the devil's music; this is that sin which God cannot bear: "how long shall I bear with this evil congregation which murmur against me?"Nu. 14. 7 Also, discontent tempts a man to atheism and apostacy. "What profit is it," saith the discontented person, "to serve the Almighty?

6. Contentment sweetens every condition. Do I meet with some crosses? my comfort is, if they be heavy, I have not far to go; I shall but carry my cross to Golgotha and there I shall leave it; my cross is light in regard of the weight of glory. Hath God taken away my comforts from me? it is well, the Comforter still abides. Thus contentment, as a honey-comb, drops sweetness into every condition.

7. Contentment hath this excellency, it is the best commentator upon providence; it makes a fair interpretation of all God's dealings. God is wise; he hath done this either to prevent some sin or to exercise some grace. What a blessed frame of heart is this! A contented Christian is an advocate for God against unbelief and impatience: whereas discontent takes every thing from God in the worst sense; it doth implead and censure God: this evil I feel is but a symptom of greater evil: God is about to undo me: the Lord hath brought us hither into the wilderness to slay us. The contented soul takes all well; and when his condition is ever so bad, he can say, "truly God is good."Ps. 73. 1

exerpt from "The Art of Divine Contentment" by Thomas Watson

A Reason for Contentment

And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love, dwelleth in God, and God in him.
I JOHN 4:16

As flame streams upward, so my longing thoughtFlies up with Thee,Thou God and Saviour, who hast truly wroughtLife out of death, and to us, loving, broughtA fresh, new world; and in Thy sweet chains caught,And made us free!
MAURICE FRANCIS EGAN

WHAT a blessed and glorious thing human existence would be, if we fully realized that the infinitely wise and infinitely powerful God loves each one of us, with an intensity infinitely beyond what the most fervid human spirit ever felt towards another, and with a concentration as if He had none else to think of! And this love has brought us into being, just that we might be taught to enter into full sympathy with Him, receiving His,--giving our own--thus entering into the joy of our Lord. This is the hope--the sure and certain hope--set before us,--sure and certain,--for "the mountains shall depart, and the hills be re-moved; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee."
THOMAS ERSKINE

Sit Still While You Wait

She replied, "Wait, my daughter, until you learn how the matter turns out...
Ruth 3:18a

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:4-7

Depending on Our Circumstances for Contentment

Be assured of this, you do not know God in truth, and have no true peace, if you are depending upon times and places. Remember that whatever God gives you to do, from moment to moment, that is the very best thing you could possibly be doing, and you little know where and when the Lord will meet you.
John Tauler