Baby Steps

Ever seen the movie "What about Bob"? Bob is psychotic. He visits a psychiatrist who recommends that Bob practices the "baby steps" technique. It looks like this... just put one foot in front of the other. Baby steps out of the office... baby steps into the hall... baby steps into the elevator and so on.

Our Christian life is a lot like that. Its not a sprint, rather a marathon. Anyone can get out on the road and run for 5 minutes - no training necessary. You can just do it and then collapse afterwards never to run again. But to run for an hour takes training. To run a marathon takes significantly even more training. It takes hard work and dedication and the results aren't seen till months after the process begins.

So, God's been working in my heart for a while on what faithfulness to Him as a result of true gospel-motivated change looks like. It does not look like perfection. A baby learning to walk does not wake up one morning, jump out of its crib and run downstairs asking for a bowl of oatmeal. Its gradual. Its progressive. One day he crawls and flops over crying. The next day he crawls a little further. Months later, he walks, holding on to things. Even later, he's toddling along, falling every 2 steps, crying every time he falls. Sometimes he goes back to crawling, sometimes he gets up and takes a few more steps. Eventually, he's running. Its a process that takes years to perfect and if you're my friend Jessica who runs into trees, it takes a lifetime to perfect! :) *sorry Jess!*

But that's the point. There is a joy we find in the process. There is trust learned in the midst of the struggle and the falls. If we woke up one day "running" we would not appreciate the process as God has designed it.

I tend to be so goal focused, that I miss the process. I see sanctification with the end result of glorification and I, in my laziness, want the glorification now. I want the perfection that isn't meant for now. Right now, is the "baby step" process. Right now, He's calling me to learn to say "thank you for the trials. thank you that You have ordained every day."

The ultimate joy will be when I stand face to face with my Heavenly Father and He says to me "welcome home, my good daughter. Welcome home, my faithful servant, Emily. Enter into the joy of eternal bliss and rest forever in My presence." That should motivate me to endure through the "baby steps" of today seeing them as what they are - the beginning easy steps, not a crippling end to the process.

For today, God hasn't called me to perfection. He hasn't called me to strength. He's called me to weakness (as He's graciously pointed out through constant days of pain, countless moments of trust, discouraging moments of seeing my sin, and glorious moments of hearing those words "it is finished"). He doesn't want my strength to come from me, He wants it to come from Him. He doesn't want my confidence to come from my abilities (that He gives and takes), He wants it to come from Him.

But my loving Heavenly "Daddy" knows my heart. He knows I miss German and Spanish. He knows I want to be learning more and teaching again. But He wants to fill that ache with Himself. He knows I want a husband and family. But He wants me to say "God, I'm so happy with You right now. I may be praying in hope that You will change my situation, but I'm resting here because of You. I'm resting in the wilderness confident that I'm not going to burn up from the heat because you're guarding over me. I'm resting in the waves because I know You won't let me drown."

He doesn't command my perfection, but He does command faithful steps - steps empowered by His Spirit. He commands a constant trust in Him as my Provider. His ultimate goal for me now is not perfection, rather trust in the process of stumbling as I'm learning to walk. He expects that when I fall, I get back up again and take 2 more steps.

And like an earthly father, when I fall, He's there to comfort, wipe the tears, stand me back up again and nudge me on to further steps of trust.

God wants me to live today for results I won't see until months later. He wants me to experience the joy in delayed gratification. He is proving Himself to me to be greater than the (fill in the blank answer of the moment). He wants my eyes fixed on Him.

One foot after another... be faithful in the little things...

He wants baby steps.