Buried and Raised in Christ - Union

Yesterday was baptism Sunday at church. I hope to have pictures soon to be able to post, but I just want to say it was simply an awesome day.

During worship, God was reminding me of my union with Christ... the joy found in that truth... and how marriage and baptism are both a picture of that union. I didn't expect baptism to remind me of marriage (especially since I'm not married), but here's what was going through my mind...

1. it is a public display - I am commited to this person forever and I want everyone to know.

2. it is a time of rejoicing corporately - the entire church joined in the celebration... they rejoiced, they clapped, they gave hugs galore!!!

3. some people laugh and hoop and holler, some cry. Not a big surprise here, but I was the latter. :)

4. in a wedding, your dad typically gives you away. in baptism, my spriritual leader, friend and pastor had the honor of baptising me. You could see in his eyes that he was rejocing with me, you could sense and feel it as he hugged me, and smiled and cried. so much was wrapped up in that moment. He cares for my soul with such excellence. God has lavishly blessed our church with not just one amazing leader, but three! what a gift. I am grateful beyond words.

5. it reveals the levels and depths of friendships - some stand close by your side in a wedding... some just hug you for all its worth while they are in their church clothes and you're sopping wet. at that moment, the last 5 years re-entered my mind... a friendship that has been formed by only God's grace alone... a friendship sweeter than I ever could have asked for. the main reason I had the honor of even standing there at that moment, dripping and smelling of chlorine, was because of how God worked in and through my sweet friend, Jessica Britt. Her patience, love and care is what led me to Christ. Her example made the gospel appealing to me - a sinner who had until that moment been content to wallow in my sin. So, Jess (since I know you're reading this)... thank you. Thank you for obeying the Spirit when He asked you to reach out to me. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your ongoing care over the past 5 (but especially the last 2 1/2 years). I'm not the same person that I was 5 years ago as a result. I pray that God lavishly, richly blesses you. I pray you feel His pleasure. I pray that I will be able to be the same friend to another struggling hopeless visitor, that you were to me.


It was a beautiful day. Every testimony given made me cry. God's grace is not merely great enough to reach into our sin-ravaged lives, He does it in a specific, personal, tender, caring, intimate way. Just like no proposal is the same... no salvation is the same.

Jesus truly is sweet. It is an honor to call Him mine. It is a joy to be in union with Him. It is my delight to serve Him. What a joy. What a splendid time of sweetness that has begun.

To be honest, I didn't expect all that...

Ten Looks at God's grace

1. i'm grateful that God saved me from drugs, sex and alcohol at age 25 instead of age 52 (or not at all).

2. i'm grateful that God's grace was so evident in my friend's lives that day at Carowinds (amusement park) that I saw the gospel being lived out in evident ways - ways that made God's kindness appealing! thanks guys! I love you!!!

3. i'm grateful for the love that my church family sacrificially displayed to me time and time again when i used to come to church with hangovers.

4. i'm grateful that, by God's grace alone, I no longer do come to church with hangovers but instead am in a place where I can serve and love my friends who serve and love me with such excellence.

5. i'm grateful that the Britt family chose to move to my town and plant a church and share with me the wondrous love displayed by Jesus on the Cross.

6. i'm grateful for the greatest place on earth (my church -Sov. Grace church in Greenville SC). I could write a book about this one.

7. i'm grateful for my Bible. (make that Bibles - I have 5!). I'm grateful for William Tyndale and the work He did in translating it so that I have an English copy. I'm grateful for Martin Luther and the work He did too so that I can have a copy in German too!

8. i'm grateful that God has given us the ability to love Him.

9. i'm grateful for the trials from the past 6 months that God has graciously and lovingly carried me through. i'm grateful for His evident grace that has been there each step of the painful way.

10. i'm grateful for the admonition of Stephen to think of 10 ways we're grateful. what a great way to start my day! thank you!

Gratitude (part one)

I was challenged this morning to take the next two weeks offering up thanks to God for how He has abundantly and lavishly cared for me this past year.

Here is post one... (more thoughts will follow over the next few days)

James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

(my paraphrase of James 1:2-18)
Rejoice, my friends, when your life is full of trials and tests. Those trials are being used in your life to grow your faith in God. That faith will result in a more steadfast trust in Him as your Provider, and the end result of that is you being most perfectly changed to reflect the glory of His image.

When life doesn’t make sense, ask God for wisdom. He lavishly gives without reservation to those who ask. But don’t doubt His goodness, or you will find your emotions being tossed on the sea of trials. When this happens, you lose your stability and look around hopelessly for an answer.

When God has brought you to the end of yourself, rejoice. When you are rich in blessings, look to Him as the Answer because your physical blessings will pass away like grass. When the next trial of heat comes, that gift could be gone. If you live for temporary answers, they will fade away like flowers in a drought.

But if you remain trusting in the Lord in the midst of trials, you will be blessed. The result of your faith will be a beautiful, unfading crown of life that God promised to those who actively pursue and love Him. Don’t look at your trials as temptation from God. Don’t accuse God of tempting you, but rather, acknowledge that your own heart is what is drawing you away from your True Love. Your heart will deceive you subtly but will ultimately bring death.

Don’t allow your heart to deceive you like this. Every good and perfect gift is from God. He does not change like the seasons do. He brought you to life and has given you an inheritance far beyond what your deceitful heart promises.


God has been working OT in my heart this past year. When I look back, it is hard to believe that Na07 was only a year ago – it feels like 5 years! I believe that God has been working through me to display His power. I think in order to do this, He had to make me weak first though. That’s not a fun process, and I feel like every day I go through the same thing over again. But He promises that His power is made perfect in weakness. He’s been showing me that my weakness is not merely a suggestion, but that He designed me to be that way. His plan for me is to be nothing on my own so that He can be everything through me. His desire is that my desires match His instead of seeking my own self-advancement (aka idolatry). But He’s also been reminding me that He is loving. That He is good and kind and delights when I come to Him needy and desiring Him to fill me. It brings Him joy to answer that prayer.

God's blessings today in my life:
A really cool roommate. :) God has really changed the friendship between Christa and I from the apartment days where we didn’t understand each other and tolerated or made fun of each other’s differences to one where we really enjoy each other. Its been a subtle shift but dramatic nonetheless. God has used her in so many areas of my life – teaching me what discipline and grace motivated change looks like, to see what steadfast trust and hope-filled faith looks like. I’ve enjoyed seeing the world through a different perspective (if we look at the same thing we always come away with two vastly different views). Its been helpful as I work through areas in my own life, seek to serve others and seek to love all my friends more.

I will miss the Thomas family when I move on. When I moved in there, it was because I needed a place to go and they had a room available. How that has changed. I am grateful for Lucia’s input as she pours into my life. I’m thankful for Rick’s caring leadership and sensitivity to my weaknesses. I’m actually having fun with the kids too!

More blessings later…

Wave upon Wave meets Grace upon Grace

Life brings waves. Another day lived brings more waves. That is what I have to look forward to. Every day there will be new trials. Every day there will be new struggles and pain and sorrow. Every day on this earth will be hard in its own, new, unique way.

But that thought doesn't depress me. It doesn't make me want to give up and cry. It simply makes me long for heaven more. A day when I will wake up, look my Savior in the face and be in His presence completely. Not a presence of wrath and judgment - a presence of love and mercy. What a day! What a sight for my weary, worn eyes that will be.

It makes me think of the old song I grew up on: "what a day that will be when my Jesus I shall see. When I look upon His face, the One who saved me by His grace. When He takes me by the hand, leads me through the Promised Land... what a day, glorious day that will be."

But for now, there are trials. For now, there are "light" and "momentary" afflictions. But my confidence isn't in having a "suck it up and endure" attitude. My confidence is that my Savior has not only rescued me from an eternity of damnation; He has given me hope for this life and strength for these weary days too. That hope is found in His ever-present grace. Grace upon grace is flooding over me as the waves upon waves seem to overwhelm me.

As I'm more aware of my weakness... as He takes and takes away, I am beginning to see that what He gives is so much more meaningful. He may take my ability to teach German. He may take my ability to sing. He may weaken (and hopefully one day kill) my pride in my accomplishments, but He is giving GRACE. That is sweet. It is precious and I'm grateful for it. He is taking me and giving Himself. Why would I ask for that to be taken away?

The migraines aren't every day. But they are still almost daily. Overall, the pain is either decreasing due to the new treatment or I'm just learning to manage it better. I think its both. I know I've had more energy in the past week. But I hesitate to ask for healing. I know my tendency. I boast in my accomplishments. I take pride in my strenghts and look to my abilities as the answer. But how I long for the day when my boasting is in Christ alone... when my hope is in Christ alone... when my strength is mediated through Him alone... when my gifts truly bring Him glory alone. I want that.

There is a sweet peace found in His strength that I don't experience on a daily basis. But I have experienced it. And I want more of it. I want more grace. I want more of His power. I want to lean on Him (realizing that means I'm stripped of more of me). I want a faith that is unshakeable, an anchor that is firm through the fiercest drought and storms, a hope that is built on a firm foundation. Its sweet.

Though it hurts, its refreshing. Though it comes through pain, there is comfort. And the comfort makes the pain pale in comparison.

A Gift

I've been reminded in the past few days what a special gift I've been given by God. I've been given the gift of friendship. I love my friends. They are such an encouragement and I believe they bring God much glory through their little "unnoticed" acts of service.

They pray for me and pray with me. Sometimes they call me while I'm walking through the produce section of Publix just to pray. Other times they call me when they are weak and need encouragement and then we talk for 57 minutes about God's goodness despite what our hearts tell us to feel. Then at other times, they send verses to remind me of God's intimate care in my life. Sometimes they drive me to the doctor or to singles events to help me save money. Sometimes they are "randomly" introduced to me through mutual struggles and we become prayer warriors and co-laborers together. Other times, they share a song of encouragemnt, or make me a cup of tea, or bring me a random bouquet of flowers simply because ...

I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends. Friends that not only care for my physical needs but friends that more importantly care for my soul too. That is a rare gift. I'm grateful. God is so overwhelmingly kind.

... just another of one of the "fringes" of His amazing ways ...

Before the Throne of God Above

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
a great High Priest who's name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free,
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect spotless Righteousness.
The Great Unchangeable I Am.
The King of Glory and of Grace.
One with Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood.
My life is hid with Christ on High
With Christ my Savior and my God.

YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just paid off my line of credit account at the bank!!!! In total, I have paid off 14 loans and only have 3 more to go! God has been so kind and SO incredibly patient with me throughout the past 4 years.

Overflowing

I'm overflowing. God is good. Overwhelmingly good. And to think... these are just mere fringes...