I woke up this morning thinking that yesterday must have been a dream. Had God really answered 3 very specific prayers of mine yesterday? One I had been praying about for a year and a half, another for seven months and the third for about a month.
Seriously, God? Is this for real?
But as I was driving to work this morning, I realized this is just another test. In my excitement and joy… as the roller coaster ride is fun this time around, I’m ultimately in the same seat. As I’m letting go of my hold, and enjoying the hills and loops, squealing all the way around, will I continue to trust? Or will I become self-reliant, confident and proud?
I remember telling Matt that I was almost concerned to ask God to heal the migraines from several months ago because it’s easier to trust when I have nothing in myself to rely on. It’s easier to learn in the test of adversity than to trust completely when prosperity floods in. He wisely pointed out that God provides needed grace and strength in times of relief too.
So, here I sit, on “top of the world” still very aware that my world is no bigger than an anthill. My anthill could be squashed tomorrow. I can’t rest there because it’s not permanent. But the Word of my God is. My faithful Provider is. My eternal hope is. My gaze MUST rest there.
God, I need more grace. I desire to pass this test and not be like the Children of Israel or the woman in Ezekiel 16 that was saved from her wallowing, only to rejoice in herself. Once again, I’m asking for more grace. I desperately need it. I desperately need your strength, because I’m so tempted to take the reigns now. Keep them in your Sovereign Hand. By your grace, I desire to pass the test of prosperity… not so that I can say I did it, but so that You, Lord, become bigger to me and to my friends.