Yea, "new every morning," though we may awake,
Our hearts with old sorrow beginning to ache;
With old work unfinished when night stayed our hand,
With new duties waiting, unknown and unplanned;
With old care still pressing, to fret and to vex,
With new problems rising, ours minds to perplex;
In ways long familiar, in paths yet untrod,
Oh, new every morning the mercies of God!
His faithfulness fails not; it meets each new day
With guidance for every new step of the way;
New grace for new trials, new trust for old fears,
New patience for bearing the wrongs of the years,
New strength for new burdens, new courage for old,
New faith for whatever the day may unfold;
As fresh for each need as the dew on the sod;
Oh, new every morning the mercies of God!
By Annie Johnson Flint
Lamentations 3:22 It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
New Every Morning
Buried and Raised in Christ - Union
During worship, God was reminding me of my union with Christ... the joy found in that truth... and how marriage and baptism are both a picture of that union. I didn't expect baptism to remind me of marriage (especially since I'm not married), but here's what was going through my mind...
1. it is a public display - I am commited to this person forever and I want everyone to know.
2. it is a time of rejoicing corporately - the entire church joined in the celebration... they rejoiced, they clapped, they gave hugs galore!!!
3. some people laugh and hoop and holler, some cry. Not a big surprise here, but I was the latter. :)
4. in a wedding, your dad typically gives you away. in baptism, my spriritual leader, friend and pastor had the honor of baptising me. You could see in his eyes that he was rejocing with me, you could sense and feel it as he hugged me, and smiled and cried. so much was wrapped up in that moment. He cares for my soul with such excellence. God has lavishly blessed our church with not just one amazing leader, but three! what a gift. I am grateful beyond words.
5. it reveals the levels and depths of friendships - some stand close by your side in a wedding... some just hug you for all its worth while they are in their church clothes and you're sopping wet. at that moment, the last 5 years re-entered my mind... a friendship that has been formed by only God's grace alone... a friendship sweeter than I ever could have asked for. the main reason I had the honor of even standing there at that moment, dripping and smelling of chlorine, was because of how God worked in and through my sweet friend, Jessica Britt. Her patience, love and care is what led me to Christ. Her example made the gospel appealing to me - a sinner who had until that moment been content to wallow in my sin. So, Jess (since I know you're reading this)... thank you. Thank you for obeying the Spirit when He asked you to reach out to me. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your ongoing care over the past 5 (but especially the last 2 1/2 years). I'm not the same person that I was 5 years ago as a result. I pray that God lavishly, richly blesses you. I pray you feel His pleasure. I pray that I will be able to be the same friend to another struggling hopeless visitor, that you were to me.
It was a beautiful day. Every testimony given made me cry. God's grace is not merely great enough to reach into our sin-ravaged lives, He does it in a specific, personal, tender, caring, intimate way. Just like no proposal is the same... no salvation is the same.
Jesus truly is sweet. It is an honor to call Him mine. It is a joy to be in union with Him. It is my delight to serve Him. What a joy. What a splendid time of sweetness that has begun.
To be honest, I didn't expect all that...
This is only a test
I woke up this morning thinking that yesterday must have been a dream. Had God really answered 3 very specific prayers of mine yesterday? One I had been praying about for a year and a half, another for seven months and the third for about a month.
Seriously, God? Is this for real?
But as I was driving to work this morning, I realized this is just another test. In my excitement and joy… as the roller coaster ride is fun this time around, I’m ultimately in the same seat. As I’m letting go of my hold, and enjoying the hills and loops, squealing all the way around, will I continue to trust? Or will I become self-reliant, confident and proud?
I remember telling Matt that I was almost concerned to ask God to heal the migraines from several months ago because it’s easier to trust when I have nothing in myself to rely on. It’s easier to learn in the test of adversity than to trust completely when prosperity floods in. He wisely pointed out that God provides needed grace and strength in times of relief too.
So, here I sit, on “top of the world” still very aware that my world is no bigger than an anthill. My anthill could be squashed tomorrow. I can’t rest there because it’s not permanent. But the Word of my God is. My faithful Provider is. My eternal hope is. My gaze MUST rest there.
God, I need more grace. I desire to pass this test and not be like the Children of Israel or the woman in Ezekiel 16 that was saved from her wallowing, only to rejoice in herself. Once again, I’m asking for more grace. I desperately need it. I desperately need your strength, because I’m so tempted to take the reigns now. Keep them in your Sovereign Hand. By your grace, I desire to pass the test of prosperity… not so that I can say I did it, but so that You, Lord, become bigger to me and to my friends.
My Only Option
Your God has fenced you in so that your only option is to trust that he will give you grace. - Ed Welch
Me - powerless...
great horde coming against me...
do not know what to do...
God - executing judgment...
greater than the great horde...
knows the end result of this trial...
What a different power than me. No wonder the writer fixes his eyes on God. Fixing his eyes - believing that God is good, certain that God hears his cries, confident that God is powerful to help in his need, trusting rather than fearing, knowing that he is not alone --- what an evidence of God's grace at work in this man's life.
How I need that grace. I pray for the humility to pray "I am at a loss for what I should do... but God, my eyes are fixed on you. My confidence and boasting and hope are in You alone. My strength comes from You - the Maker of the heavens and the earth. My help comes from You. You are my foundation and the shelter from my storms.
My trust is in You. My fear is not greater than You. God, I'm needy. But you're the Source of all grace and power and strength and might. You're the Fountain of Living Water. Come, quench your thirsty servant.
Grant me the supernatural gift of more grace. Keep my gaze fixed on You."
grace for the weary
I'm tired. Both physically and emotionally I'm worn out. It was a long week. There are a plethora of thoughts swarming in my mind.
I just got done having dinner with my family to celebrate my mom's birthday. I love them dearly, but our times together always leave me sad. There's a level of depth and communion that just isn't there like exists with my church family and friends and that affects everything. Its just not "home" when we're together.
I wish it weren't so. It hurts so deeply. I pray every day for resolution - I pray every day for sweet relationships and fellowship as fellow believers (albeit disagreeing in areas).
I struggle with seeing families in my church that have what I long for. My heart wants to accuse God. With tear filled eyes and an aching heart, I so desperately want to question why. And He says simply "come - I'll give your weary heart rest. Trust me. I'm sovereign and loving and good and have ordained each step of your life and each person in your life for my glory and your good."
That's a hard pill to swallow at times. I want my parents to talk to my grandparents again. I want my mom to talk to her brother. I want to be able to mention the name "dave" to my family without a wall going up. I want us all as Christians to experience sweet unity because of the cross. I don't understand why it doesn't happen. I don't understand how this can be God's will. I don't understand why He doesn't allow for restoration and healing. I don't know why family times are always accompanied by a big pink elephant. I want to know why.
And God simply says "Emily, I'm good. I haven't forgotten your prayers. I've seen every tear that has fallen. I know every hurt you've never spoken of. I've heard each cry. So, trus - trust in ME my child. I really do care."
I'm weary. I need grace. I need a reminder of my Shelter from the storms because the storms are pounding down on my heart right now. But I know that God is my answer, not restored relationships. He's greater than that. My confidence is not that one day I may have a family with no struggles, rather its that I serve a God who cares about these things.
I belong to a Father that never fails. I have a daddy who lavishes overabundant grace every day. Grace to endure trials. trials like family problems. Grace for surface relationships. Grace for a heart that wants more and doesn't know if it will ever happen. Grace from a God who is not surprised by this trial.
Grace for the weary.
Captive
the death grip on my soul.
I thought that this life was the best
for which I’d ever hope.
True satisfaction,
eternal bliss,
deep communion
was just a wish.
I was at home
with misery.
Tried to dull the pain
of what I saw in me.
I didn’t realize I was blind,
I thought that this was "life;"
until one day I heard the words:
“Come, there’s rest from all this strife.”
"An answer
for the void you feel -
a hope
for your captive soul.
A rest eternal -
- it's for real.
a promise
in His Word."
It sounded to my tired ears
just too good to be true.
But as He drew near, I heard the damning words:
“there’s nothing you can do.”
“You’ve sinned.
You’re guilty.
You can’t come
before My Holy face.
I’m Rightous and I can’t allow
such filth
here in this place.”
With sorrow and dread I stood before
my Maker, in my chains.
Fearing His hand of judgment
that would crush my feeble frame.
Fear compelled
Me there
To fall -
enslaved by
my desires.
I had no
power
to change my
heart or quench
the wrathful
fires.
At that moment nothing seemed
More powerful than sin.
My empty soul - in awful fear
As I stood before my King.
A captive,
held by sin
alone; a slave to
death and fear.
The Holy Judge
Was fully aware
That sin
Was my career.
Those were my chains.
Captivity.
Deep emptiness.
Hollow misery.
“What if I’m good!? I’ll change my ways!?”
frantically I tried.
But He said “no, its not enough.”
I sat in despair and cried.
“Is there a hope
or any rest?
An answer for
my empty soul?”
With tender love
He picked me up
and said
“My blood can make you whole.”
“Not by your works, Not what you do
There’s nothing to attain.
For on that cross, I bore your curse
So you’d know all My gain.”
“No! Let me go.
Don’t do this, God!
You don’t deserve
That death!
Judge me instead
I’m the guilty one
Trade places -
Go! now rest.”
With tear-filled eyes, He then looked down
at His eternally wounded hands.
“Look here, my child. The price is paid
already. This is my plan.”
“I died for you
to give you life;
My grace has set you free.
The penalty’s paid -
find freedom now
from your captivity.”
So, with great joy, we walked that day
away from all my chains.
Now hand in hand, His love is what
keeps me captive every day.
That’s what
compels me now
you see
to say no to
desires.
His love
constrains my
wayward heart
from my
internal fires.
His grace is more sufficient and
more powerful than sin.
This peace is so much greater than
I’d ever hoped it’d been.
I’m captive.
Held by grace
alone; a slave to
righteousness.
My Owner’s love
gives strength and faith
to daily die
to sin.
written by Emily 12 PM on 4/24/08
after reading 2 Corinthians 5 and Romans 6
The Courtroom Verdict
"I cannot escape the exceeding wonder that not only does God look upon a guilty person in the court room and exercise clemency and forgive him and say, "you're guilty, I forgive you, go and sin no more", but he, also, beyond all imagination looks upon this guilty sinner and does not just say, "you're guilty, I forgive you" he says "you're not guilty." I mean forgiveness is understandable - just a little bit understandable – we kind of had some way to get our hands around forgiveness: you let it go; you don't hold it against them. But this looks me right in the face, right in the face, sinner that I am, and says "righteous."
John Piper
Overflowing
1. My cake turned out and was a big hit. I know this is just a little thing, but I was simply hoping to make something that would bless my friends. I'd been looking forward to making that cake for about 3 months now (vanilla butter cream cake with a thin vanilla frosting between the layers and on the top and sides and then a godiva 60% bittersweet dark chocolate ganache. Can you say "yum"?) :) Hearing Matt who doesn't like cake, say he enjoyed it; watching Willy eat spoonful after spoonful of the leftover ganache until I'm convinced he'll be sick tomorrow... seeing Jessica sad because there were no seconds left... Such a little thing, but for me, it was a reminder of God's delight in bringing us joy. I enjoyed making that cake, and seeing them enjoy eating it brought joy to my heart and made me thank God for that little blessing.
2. We talked about the gospel. Talk about a topic to encourage a weary heart... Christ died for you. He paid the price you could not pay for your sins. Through the work of regeneration, He has changed your nature. You're dead to sin. Baptism is a public display of humbly submitting to Christ in all areas of your life. I'm looking forward to being baptized on May 18th. I hope its warm that day (since the baptisms will be outside!)
3. God gave me a picture for a friend and it seemed to encourage her. I pray it continues to do so. She seems weary and burdened down with the cares of this life. I want her to know confidently the freedom that is found in her weakness. The joy that is found in her utter inability to do anything. I want her to rejoice that the fruit in her life does not come from her ability to make it; rather, it comes through the life flowing through her. I want that to bring the much needed rest for my sweet dear friend.
4. My back is not hurting! I can't even explain what this means. My back and shoulders have hurt for years, but especially in the past few months. Physical relief is such a blessed gift.
5. I feel at home. At home with the Thomas's; at home with my church family. Simply resting. Its a beautiful thing and I'm just beginning to experience that. Honestly, in so many ways, I can't imagine life getting better than it is right now.
6. I have running buddies now - Wendy for hiking adventures. Jennifer for after work motivation. Yippee! Hurray for not having to run by myself (not that I don't like the solitude with me, my ipod, and the road - I do, but its nice to have someone else with me for safety).
7. I love Matt and Julie. They are a blessing from God. I love Matt's excitement about little things like the salty smell from opening a bag of Original Lays chips. I love his humility and sensitivity for others' concerns and needs. I love his passion for Jesus. And I love his wife. Julie brightens the room simply by being there. I love her excitement and humor. I love her down to earth approach on life. I love her discipline as portrayed through raising her children and losing weight. She is an example I long to be like. I want my husband to be blessed with a godly wife like Julie. I want to learn more from that life.
8. Talking to George tonight was great. I have a greater desire to read and study the Psalms more. I want to memorize more and glorify God through my creativity more. I want to grow in songwriting . I want to grow in the gift of encouragement. He encouraged me tonight. I want to do that same honor to others.
9. Ending the night with "Have your full way" was so appropriate. By God's grace, I was able to sing "thank you for my trial, it was designed by your own hand to perfect a good work in me."
Isn't He good?
Isn't He kind?
Hasn't He blessed us?
Time after Time?
There is no answer but "yes."
Come Weary Saints
Yesterday, I received a copy of the new album from Sovereign Grace Ministries, "Come Weary Saints." This album is a beautiful reminder of God's sustaining grace through every trial we face. I have the feeling this will quickly become one of my favorites. (the link to purchase the CD can be found here .)
the line-up is as follows:
1. Hide Away In the Love of Jesus
2. So I Will Trust You
3. As Long as You are Glorified
4. Oh the Deep Deep Love
5. Every Day
6. Through the Precious Blood
7. You Have Always Been Faithful
8. Healing in Your Wings
9. Joy in my Morning
10. Glorious
11. I Have a Shelter
12. It is Not Death to Die
Though each song is a reminder of God as the solution to (and greater than) each problem that we face, I want to focus on one song specifically that already been an encouragement and challenge to me - "Through the Precious Blood." A post from last week was as a result of God using in my heart 3 words from the sample version of that song - "grace upon grace." As the trials heap up in my life, as I feel bombarded with wave after wave, my Father promises freely grace upon grace.
This grace is not a cheap grace -it came at great cost - through the precious blood of Christ. Grace from a Father that has ordained every step I take. Grace abundant from a God that makes no mistakes. Satisfying grace that is offered to us freely.
Scripture assures us - that God is soverengly using our difficulties as tool to make us more like His Son. We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5: 3–5). While we know these things are true, in the midst of our hardships we can lose perspective. Problems can loom large, and our hopes can grow dim.
Come Weary Saints is an invitation to redirect your focus to the God whose love has been forever demonstrated at the cross of Calvary. As you listen to these songs, may your faith and joy in the Savior be strengthened for the challenges you face, now or in the future. (review from http://www.sovereigngracemusic.org/albums)
Needful Grace
"As your days, so shall your strength be." —Deuteronomy 33:25
God does not give grace until the hour of trial comes. But when it does come the amount of grace, and the nature of the special grace required is granted. My soul! do not dwell with painful apprehension on the future. Do not anticipate coming sorrows; perplexing yourself with the grace needed for future emergencies; tomorrow will bring its promised grace along with tomorrow's trials. God, wishing to keep His people humble, and dependent on Himself, gives not a stock of grace; He metes it out for every day's exigencies, that they may be constantly "traveling between their own emptiness and Christ's fullness"—their own weakness and Christ's strength. But when the exigency comes, you may safely trust an Almighty arm to bear you through!
Is there now some "thorn in the flesh" sent to lacerate you? You may have been entreating the Lord for its removal. Your prayer has, doubtless, been heard and answered; but not in the way, perhaps, expected or desired by you. The "thorn" may still be left to goad, the trial may still be left to buffet; but "more grace" has been given to endure them. Oh! how often have His people thus been led to glory in their infirmities and triumph in their afflictions, seeing the power of Christ rests more abundantly upon them! The strength which the hour of trial brings, often makes the Christian a wonder to himself!
excerpt from John MacDuff "The Faithful Promiser" 1849
Sufficient
My grace is sufficient for you
(from J.C. Philpot's "Strength Made Perfect in Weakness")
"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in your weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Not your strength, not your wisdom, not your prayers, not your experience; but "My grace"—My free, My matchless grace, independent of all works and efforts, independent of everything in the creature—flowing wholly and solely, fully and freely, out of the bosom of Jesus to . . . the needy, the guilty, the destitute, the undone.
You who are tried in worldly circumstances, who have to endure the hard lot of poverty—"My grace is sufficient for you."
You who are tempted, day by day, to say or do that which conscience testifies against—"My grace is sufficient for you."
You who are harassed with family troubles and afflictions, and are often drawn aside into peevishness and fretfulness—"My grace is sufficient for you."
Our weakness, helplessness, and inability are the very things which draw forth the power, the strength, and the grace of Jesus!
Believer, your case is never beyond the reach of the words—"My grace is sufficient for you!"
The free, the matchless, sovereign grace of God, is sufficient for all His people—in whatever state, or stage, or trouble, or difficulty they may be in!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in your weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Substitutionary Atonement (he took my place)
I read the crucifixion narrative last night and was moved to tears not long after I began reading.
My first response upon reading it was disgust. Disgust at the graphic nature of what I was reading. I don't like graphic things. I don't like scary or gross things. I wanted to stop reading. I wanted to walk away. That feeling then turned into disgust that this narrative was actually reality - this was a real man who suffered real pain and died a real death - it's not just a story that resulted in a cool necklace design. And then disgust that God would go to such lengths and suffer such humiliation and pain for me and for my sin. And disgust that this cross and this reality does not affect my soul like it should.
My second response (which was simultaneous to the first), to my shame, was honestly one of cold-hearted apathy. The disgust made me want to turn away. The story was familiar. Jesus was beaten. He suffered lots of pain as they beat him. He died a cruel death to take my sins upon himself. But He rose again. That's the real story. He lives. There's hope.
Strike one. I kept reading...
I looked on this narrative with disgust (despised and rejected of men) as I was reading. but there I found love. His response to my disgust was the same as his response to the centurion. He looked on me with eyes of love. With a love that existed before the world did. The tears began to flow at this point.
In His lonliness, He trusted. In his trial, He looked to His daddy. Holiness in human form became treated like trash. Yet, he faithfully followed the will of His Father.
... but the story doesn't stop there. I have sadly become familiar with this love. I expect it. He's God. That's what He does. He loves. Its in John 3:16 - He loved the world...
Strike two...
What I wasn't expecting was the interaction that took place while Jesus was actually on the cross itself. As a result of both my disgust and the fact that I know the end of the story, I don't take the necessary time to sit at the foot of the cross and marvel in the substitutionary atonement of Christ. I pass it off as mere details and miss the beauty found in that disgustingly graphic scene.
I've always pictured Christ as taking my sin - as if He were taking a bag full of evil deeds and holding them on His back while He was on the cross. He was still perfect, just holding my sin for me. However, that's not what the crucifixion narrative last night showed me. And I don't believe that's what truly happened there that day.
As God the Father, the holy righteous Judge of the universe, looked at His beloved, sinless, holy, perfect Son, hanging there on that cross, He saw sin. He saw a vile, wretched betrayer of the holy, sovereing Creator. He saw the sin of unbelief, the sin of discontentment, the sin of arrogant pride. He saw a man who worshipped idols and turned from trusting in the one and living God. God saw cowardice, He saw hatred, He saw ungratefulness, He saw disgusting, vile undending wretchedness. And He was disgusted. He was disgusted by the unbelief that Jesus was. He saw Jesus as a filthy, wreched whore. He saw Him as a drunk. He saw Him as someone seeking satisfaction in riches. He saw Jesus, the only man who ever lived a perfect life, wholly for the glory of God, with no ill-intent, no lack of trust, no self-sufficiency - God saw that man as me. I am the one who is a filthy idolator. I am the one who is sinfully discontent and complains about my sorry state. I am the one who looks to my own ability and turns from infinite Power. I am the one. When God looked at His son on the cross, He didn't just see a perfect Jesus holding a bag of my sin. He saw a filthy disgusting Jesus that was guilty of that death he was suffering at that moment. He saw deserved pain and suffering. He saw a just punishment from someone who was deserving of that wrath. He saw me.
But because He's a holy God, he couldn't look at that. He turned away. He removed His presence from the One who had always been in union with Him. God the Father deserted His Son who had never not been wholly with Him for eternity. And in judgment, He left him there to die. God walked away in disgust. Not disgust because of the graphic nature of a beaten man hanging naked and bleeding on a tree. Rather disgust because of who Jesus was at that moment. Jesus was sin. He was justly cursed by God because He was sin. He, at that moment, was not viewed in the eyes of the Father as "my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased." No, He was viewed by His Father as a traitor, as a usurper, as a blasphemer, a complainer and as an anti-christ.
Jesus bore that for me. In his perfection, He became sin for me. He who knew no sin for all eternity, took my place in His body on that tree. He was, at that moment, everything that I am. It should have been me. I should have been beaten beyond recongition. I should have had the nails in my hands and the thorns in my head. I should have been cursed by God. I should have been forsaken.
But in love, He took my place. In His mercy, He bore what I didn't ask him to bear. In His grace, He took it all. He drank and drank and drank and drank that cup of God's wrath until it was dry. He drank it for my pride and arrogance and self-sufficient idolatry and for my murderous thoughts and for my unrepentant ungrateful heart. He drank for me. That cup, that for all eternity would have to be drunk by me and could still never be satisfied, was completely satisfied that day. It is empty. Not only is the tomb empty, but the cup is empty too!! God's wrath is completely satisfied. His anger and judgment for who I was, was completley taken in love, by that man that I looked upon with disgust. That man that I wanted to turn away from, didn't turn away from taking my place though He could have. That man that God looked upon as deserving of that punishment, bore it all so that God will never look upon me that way. The One who had never been separated from His Fater, was separated so that I never will be.
The words "amazing grace" are insufficient. There are no words. There are not enough tears to express the emotion found that day. There is not enough to give to someone who did all that for me. Truly this man was the Son of God. Truly, this was a magnificent substitution. He bore my sins! He took my place. He died my death. He hurt so I wouldn't have to. He suffered so I could go free. He cried in lonly agony so that I could rejoice. He was forsaken by the Judge, so I could be accepted by the Father.
It is finished. There is no payment required from me. The debt has not been cancelled, it has been paid. The sins have not been removed, they have been cursed. God will never look upon me in condemnation, for He condemned every transgression of mine that day. There was not one sin of mine that God did not see in Jesus that day. They are all gone. They are all paid. They are finished.
Praise God for 60%
i call it an answer to prayer (even if only temporary). God is kind. The past 2 days have been significantly better than the previous 18. After functioning 18 days at 10%, seeing a 50% improvement is really a gift from God. I'm grateful for 60%.
still very aware of my limitation and confident that the migraine is still there (but simply shocked for a while), but nonetheless grateful for small gifts. God's mercy is on display in my heart right now. His mercy - giving me a day with minimized pain. I really do love Him more than I did a month ago. He's bigger. exponentially.
Like Eustace, I can't peel my dragon layers off... Like Lucy, when I come back and see another glimpse its like "Aslan, my how you've grown" "No, my child. I'm the same size. But as you get older, I grow larger in your eyes." Either way... He's growing in my eyes. not that I've achieved. or am even close...
Matt asked us in care group last week if we had a time when our relationship with God was especially sweet and where there was an extraordinary depth and specialness present. That's been the last month or so for me. This has been sweet. I pray that sweetness continues even if the migraines don't. And I'm really praying they don't. I don't like this and wouldn't have picked it. But in spite of that, there is a special, almost holy sweetness. Times of suffering can be sweet fellowship and growth periods, but oh, to have that same growth and desire during times of ease. I think that requires an extra measure of grace. to feel strong yet continue to acknowledge our neediness. that's not a natural human reaction.
How I long for the day when I will be ruled by truth rather than emotions. My feelings affect so much. the Bible rarely affects to the same effect. I pray that those 2 roles become reversed - that the living words from the Lover of my soul would constantly define and drive me instead of the absence or presence of pain.
i was reminded this morning of the verse "draw near to God and He will draw near to you." What a comfort! As I stumble and bumble anlong, He is guiding each step of the way. As I fail, He is faithful. As I'm hopeless, He reminds me of the hope that can truly only be found in Him. And as I draw near (only through the grace He's imparted to me and through the enablement He's already given me), He continues to reveal more and more layers and depths of His beautiful character.
How cool to know that will never be exhausted. I can't ever draw so near that "i've reached the end." The end is coming. But not here. Not now. I'll always be pursuing. And as I do, He'll simultaneously always be drawing and revealing. But its all because of His grace. All because of His mercy. And all through His work and power.
In my heart
My head hurts to the point where I can't focus or concentrate when I try to read. So, I've stopped trying. I haven't read a book since February 22nd. For most people, that's not a big deal... its only 17 days... for me, its an eternity. I haven't opened a Spanish book or a German book or even a music book. I rarely even read blogs anymore. I haven't listened to a CD unless its extremely quiet to the point where its almost useless because you can't hear what is being sung anyways.
I can still type because I don't look at what I'm typing, my fingers simply produce on paper what is otherwise locked in this abyss of random thoughts and figures. They provide a helpful escape to my head that otherwise wants to simply scream. ahh. words on paper. coherent thoughts... *feelings of warm-fuzzies running through my veins*
I'm glad I've memorized portions of the Bible... its times like this that those verses have comforted me. And provoked. And challenged. And yelled at. And comforted again. Verses like Romans 6 and 1st Peter 1 and random parts of Galatians and Ephesians and Mark. And other various passages too like the Psalms 84 and 139 and Ezekiel 16 and Job 23.
This time has forced me to focus on what I already know and seek to apply it. Focus on the "good-old" passages like "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." How rich! And, sadly, how often overlooked to find yet another "new" and "helpful" nugget. I'm grateful for this old "nugget." This one specifically has been so pervasive in my thoughts lately.
Why? Probably because I'm more aware of my weakness. Perhaps because I'm seeing more of His strength so magnificently and gloriously on display. Its a comfort. His grace is sufficient. Sufficient for all my deficiencies. Covers all my sin. ALL! But its provoking as well. Provoking because I detest weakness. In my pride, I think I should be strong. I try to find ways to make myself strong.
And He says instead...
- be weak... that's when you glory in my strength
- rejoice in infirmities... because then you are rejoicing in me not in your ability
- hope in me... if you hope in your ability, its like hoping in a sand castle on the beach - it took time and detail to build, but can be destroyed by simply one wave...
- trust in the Rock... trust in the Unfailing Hope... I'll never ever fail...
that's what our weakness does ... that's why we're command to rejoice in it.
ALL-SUFFICIENT GRACE
"God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that you, always having all-sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good word and work." —2 Corinthians 9:8
All-sufficiency in all things! Believer! Surely you are "thoroughly furnished!" Grace is no scanty thing, doled out in pittances. It is a glorious treasury, which the key of prayer can always unlock, but never empty. A fountain, "full, flowing, ever flowing, over flowing." Mark these three ALL’S in this precious promise. It is a three-fold link in a golden chain, let down from a throne of grace by a God of grace. "All grace!"—"all-sufficiency!" in "all things!" and these to "abound." Oh! precious thought! My need cannot impoverish that inexhaustible treasury of grace! Myriads are hourly hanging on it, and drawing from it, and yet there is no diminution—"Out of that fullness all we too may receive, and grace for grace!"
My soul, do you not love to dwell on that all-abounding grace? Your own insufficiency in everything, met with an "all-sufficiency in all things!" Grace in all circumstances and situations, in all vicissitudes and changes, in all the varied phases of the Christian's being. Grace in sunshine and storm—in health and in sickness—in life and in death. Grace for the old believer and the young believer, the tried believer, and the weak believer, and the tempted believer. Grace for duty, and grace in duty—grace to carry the joyous cup with a steady hand, grace to drink the bitter cup with an unmurmuring spirit—grace to have prosperity sanctified—grace to say, through tears, "Your will be done!"
by John MacDuffGrace
May 21, 1761.
For some time past, though the iniquities of my heart have been many, yet God has done wonders for my soul. Grace lives within, and there is a longing kindled in my bosom, that I hope will never abate until I see my Beloved face to face. My secret sins cause both my shame and sorrow—before him who sees in secret. And his wonderful, triumphant, victorious love, (let every saint commend it, and eternity continue the praise), that will not be provoked to depart from me, increases my grief for sin. O how can I sin against his goodness! How can I forget his love, or offend his holiness, and abuse his fatherly kindness! I desire to keep conscience always awake, that it may roar aloud against my sins, and give me no rest, until, by fresh acts of faith, I apply the blood of him who speaks better things than that of Abel, even peace to those who are afar off, and to those who are near.
November 20, 1763.
Through various changes, my natural life is preserved. But O! where is my growth in grace; and the daily renewing of my inner man? My cares multiply, my business fills my hands, and my fond enterprises fill my head. But why is not my heart more consecrated to God? Return to my soul, O my God, that my soul may return to her rest! Surely, in the midst of all my declinings, grace prevails within, for I find no peace but in peace with God; and praise, and prize, and would sincerely pursue after likeness to God.
Sometimes there is a deadness on my soul, and a restraining in prayer—but even here I have hope, for
1. All my needs are known to God.
2. Christ presents the imperfect prayers of his people with his own incense.
3. I am driven out of all my self confidence, and wholly lean on him.
4. I am made to lift my eye to him, in whom the fullness of the new covenant is treasured up.
5. I am taught to trust nothing to my best frames in coming times.
I desire to set death daily before me, by which I may put a proper estimate on the things of time.
April 16, 1769.
When I compare past and present times, how am I pained! Once my time was a time of love; my meditation of him was sweet; his candle shined on my head; and by his light I walked through darkness. But, alas! for some time past, how have I been sighing and going backward! A bewitching world, in its cares and concern, in its profit and pleasures, in its sorrows and uncertainties, in its projects and plans—has too much tossed my mind, like a straw before the whirlwind. Return, O Lord! how long? and cause my soul return to her center, her rest. Did a pleasant paradise spring up in the wilderness—I might sit still. But when Satan, like the fiery serpents—the world, like the cruel Amalekites—and corrupt nature, like the barren desert—all conspire to make my situation dismal and deplorable, no wonder that I long to pass over Jordan, and go in to take eternal possession of the land of promise!
November 20, 1770.
What comfort to the poor buffeted believer, that his High Priest intercedes for him; and in the hour of sad temptation, when likely to succumb—sends him such fresh supplies of grace, that he not only stands his ground—but triumphs over his foes! As I have no strength—why should I have any confidence in myself? But why should I despond—seeing in Christ I am complete?
James Meikle
Sin vs Grace
Sin is too strong for me--but Your grace is too strong for sin!
(from "Solitude Sweetened" by James Meikle, 1730-1799)
"Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound!" (Romans 5:20)
In You Alone
Verse 1
It was Your grace that drew me to the cross
It was Your grace that gave me faith
It was Your grace that reconciled me to Yourself
Though I had sinned in every way
You disarmed me of everything that I would lean on
So I would lean on You
And You stripped me of everything I would depend on
So I’d depend on You
Chorus
In You alone my strength is found
In You alone my hope abounds
In You alone my strength is found
My life is bound up in You
Verse 2
And in my weakness give me still more grace
Grace to cast myself on You
In every trial let me find Your peace and joy
And grace to humbly walk with You
O disarm me of everything that I would lean on
So I will lean on You
Jesus, strip me of everything I would depend on
So I’ll depend on You
Bridge
Give me more grace
Give me more grace
And new mercies every morning